Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Please don't tell kids nothing...

I often joke about the fact that on the inside, I am a Peter Pan, I never grew beyond 6-8years old, but in reality, I am over 21... tee hee hee... not letting the cat out of the bag yet.

I have come to the realisation that age is nothing but a number and it really doesn’t matter that much, except to people who are insecure enough to feel you owe them something because, by accident of nature, they happen to be born before you...

OK, I have digressed from the outset, so I had better get on to the straight and narrow, eyes on the ball now, focus on the subject matter without deviation.

I took my kids to school the other day and I remember meeting one of the mums at one of the school events.  We got into conversation about people not acting their age and how boys will always be boys and stuffs like that.  This lady lectured me on how important it is to be matured and sensible and why girls will find it difficult to cope with boys their age or younger.

As the conversation drifted, I asked her if she has ever dated someone younger or her age, she said she had not and that, they are usually too childish to cope with her level of maturity.  I took a deep breath and smiled.  She is Nigerian and the husband/partner is not.

I could be rather mischievous at times and this was one of those days that I wanted to play out my little mischievous boyish nuances.  I asked her when her birthday would be and she showed that she is truly Nigerian by answering a question with a question... tee hee hee... “why did you ask?” was her response.

I told her I was just curious, but she should not bother, so I excused myself, walked away for a few seconds, then started playing with her son.  I did a little “rough play” of push, pull, then carry and run.  He got into a state as boys do and wanted more, so I stopped and said I will not continue unless he told me when is mummy’s birthday.

I thought, that was “wicked” as she gave an evil grin to the boy, and said “don’t you dare”.  Well, boys will always be boys and kids don’t have the same matured attitude of holding back information when you ask them something they know...tee hee hee...

He spilled the bin, let the cat out of the bag, “mummy’s birthday is October 2nd and she will be 43”, I carried him and ran away, laughing all the way... and when we came back, he reminded mummy that she is 4 years older than daddy and that when they argue she often tell daddy she is not his mate and that he is too childish.

Now that is below the belt, that was not information meant for my ears and that little boy should not have said that in public.  I did not know how to respond to that.  If I carried him and ran again, that will be a terrible mistake and completely unacceptable even for a man who is just about 8years old on the inside and just a little over 21 years of age... tee hee hee... its not funny actually...

I could not look at this lady for a few seconds, because I dreaded her reaction and wondered how she will respond to that one.  She kept her cool, put on a brave face, gave another evil grin to this little boy, snapped her finger, telling him “when we get home, we will have this conversation again!!!”   I felt sorry for my little friend, because, I guessed he will surely not get away with that answer to a question never asked.

I remember one of my kids asking me how old I was and my spontaneous response was that I was as old as I felt that morning.  I tickled her to submission, refused to stop until she stopped asking the question.  Then I told her I feel like a 6 year old boy. “Come on Daddy” was all she could say after making her laugh so much from the tickling.

I have learnt a long time ago that whatever you do not want your child to do or say in public, do not do or say it even in the most private area of your house when the child is nearby.  If you insult your husband, wife or spouse at home, your kid will tell the world at one of the most embarrassing moments and usually unexpected time.

I witnessed an incident this morning that inspired this blog.  It was amusing, though not very funny, as a lady had two kids to take to school.  I was coming behind her when the station staff said she cannot go in unless she pays for a ticket for her son that is about 9 years old.  I jumped in to support her protest and told the guy, that no one is aware that you should pay for travelcard for a 9 year old.

This guy insisted that was what the letter of the law said and the lady will need to make the payment to get a chance of taking the next train.  She was not a happy bunny as she fished for some coins in her purse.  She brought out a note, about to pay and guess what, the younger sister told the cashier, without being asked or prompted, “I am 6 years old, would mummy need to pay for me too”.  The guy smiled and said, “yes, now that I know, she will surely have to buy a ticket for you too my dear”.

If looks could kill, that sweet and innocent girl, would have died instantly.  I wanted to roar with laughter, but could not, as I wonder, why on earth did she say that.  I got hot under the collar as I no longer found it funny and was just bewildered why kids would not keep quiet at the appropriate time.  Instead, they seem to exercise the right to speak even when no one had asked them any question.

I thought about my own growing up years and what would have been the result of that from my or other parents.  I knew instantly that it would have resulted in slaps and pinch and knock on the head to warn you not to open your mouth when you are not being spoken to or  asked question.

It takes a man or woman of a certain generation and cultural background to remember those knocks on the head that can be so painful and evil to the point where your eyes will start dripping with involuntary water from the after effect of that knock... Oh my gosh, tears will well up and in one blinking moment, it will drop like torrents of rain... tee hee hee... its actually not funny at all... that will be described as child abuse these days...

Now I have come full circle and my thought is that kids these days need to learn to “shush” as its considered rude these days to tell children to “shut up”.  If you don’t want to train your child in this permissive side of the world to go around telling people to “shut up”, then you will chose not to use those words.

Swearing and cursing is an absolute no, no... Any parent with some integrity, class and self-respect will definitely be embarrassed to hear their child say rude things to other kids in public.  I don’t know a lot of people that will be smiling when their 7 or 8 or 9year old, in public glare, speak out loud and say “look at that stupid man he is going to bump into some with the way he is walking”.  But guess what, parents call other drivers “stupid”, “idiot”, b**ch and other such rude words when driving with kids in the car.

If you don’t want your child to broadcast in public that your spouse is a lazy man that is no good, or that your woman is stupid woman, then do not ever say thing like that in their vicinity or hearing distance.

One must acknowledge that there are situations where one can not win with kids.  What do you say to the kids that tell the ticket cashier “I am 6 years old, will mummy need to pay for me too?”  Do you tell that child never to speak the truth or never to let people know her real age?

I love kids, they are so refreshing and sweet and innocent and so sincere in the way they communicate, they never seem capable of pulling punches.  As a parting short, I was in a cab with my daughter the other day, she had just finished Judo class and she sat in the back, while I was in the front seat.

She asked me a simple and innocent question, “Daddy what will happen to anyone that eat a lot of junk food and never ever find time to exercise?”

I nearly died, because the cab driver happened to be an Asian guy that is not just obviously overweight, he must be clinically obese, he also had leftover of his KFC snacks beside him.  How would you respond... lol....

PS. She told me later at home that the Judo Instructor told them to eat just a little junk food and exercise a lot.  She wanted to know what I think because I jog regularly and I often tell them I don't like junk food, so MacDonalds is a treat, not a regular meal.... lol...

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous2:47 AM

    Wonderfully written and so very true!! Made me laugh at so many points.

    Eloya

    ReplyDelete