I was on Central Line today on my way back home from church. I saw a cute little boy, chubby cheeks without being fat, angelic blues eyes with a good head of blonde hair, and I reckon he should be about 2 years old.
This little cherub has one heart-melting smile that will make you just want to hug and cuddle him. I could not stop smiling as this cute little thing gave me a big smile that made the entire coach glow with warmth. I looked around me and I could sense a warm feeling as everyone seemed to be smiling just because of this sweet charmer.
Well, the mum had him on her lap and she smiled too. She is obviously beautiful, seemingly curvy and shapely, wearing a nice dress, low cut showing some cleavage and the summation is that this beautiful and well dressed woman has a cute son on her lap. Listening to a few things she said to the boy in English, I reckon she must be Eastern European.
I sat directly opposite this lady and the son and without much ado, I was going to just bring out my notebook and bible as there were points I was pondering about after service and wanted to check before it all fades away as is usually the case when you don’t write down theological issues you have reason to doubt or check it instantly.
The little boy’s smile evolved into making faces at me and the 6year old boy in me took control and I started making faces at him too. First he giggled, and then he went into full blown hearty laughter that got the attention of everyone on the train. Now I was looking like the silly old man as he continued to laugh at every expression on my face, then I thought, OK, this has to stop now, else I may seem like I am the one enjoying the attention.
Like most boys his age, attention span is short, so without any notice to what he was going to do next, he dipped his hand into his mother’s dress at the top, and right “in my face” brought out her breast, snuggled up and was helping himself to some breast milk.
If I was not a black dude, I would have gone completely red, but guess what, my cheeks became hot and my eyes nearly popped out. The mother seemed completely unperturbed and she even made it easier for him, undid a button and further exposed herself in public glare without as much as making an attempt to cover up a bit.
Suddenly, I was extremely self conscious as this woman is plonked right in front of me and did not seem bothered that she has a big boob fully exposed and she is right in front of me and a sizable number of guys and ladies on the train on a busy Sunday afternoon.
Everyone else seems to have someone to look at or talk to or another direction to face except me. I could not look right or left without being aware that I am making strong effort not to stare. I wanted to show I am not embarrassed for some weird reason, but I was and could not hide it. Gosh this is not good, on a Sunday afternoon, just after church...
I felt like a pervert, because, in my head, I tried to blank it all out, then my mind started playing tricks on me, working out whether she was about 34DD or larger, Oh my gosh, please stop, don’t think, don’t look, don’t close your eyes, because then the image becomes more vivid, what do I do?
If I had gotten up and moved to another seat, I will look like a really bad guy that does not like women breastfeeding kids, seating still was difficult. When I opened my bible, it seems the only word printed was boobs, boobies and breasts because that was the image my head conjured. Oh Father forgive me, for my mortal frailties... (Amen)
OK, I decided to put the bible aside and start writing my thoughts to focus my mind on something. Then my little friend stopped suddenly and said “y’ello” to me as if to mock me, I managed a brave “hi”, the mum smiled, the boy laughed out loud, the whole coach looked again and this woman’s breast was still in public glare and the boy went straight back to it again.
I concluded, there should be a law that prevents this from happening on the train. No woman should be allowed to display herself like this while on the train on a Sunday afternoon, when folks like me are coming back from church. It’s totally out of order and completely unacceptable.
To be serious now, there is no reason for her not to have a shawl or something to cover herself while the son is getting fed. I have nothing against breast feeding, infact, I think its fantastic for a mother to breastfeed rather than offer the kid crisps and chocolates. But on the other hand, I did not think its right to do it the way she has opted to display herself in public.
Come to think about it, at what age should a mother stop breastfeeding anyway. I am not sure, but I would think a child should not be breastfed once they are two years old or they have teeth and can eat solids.
While all this thoughts were going on in my head, the lady patted the little boy on the head, moved him away, cupped the breast in her hand and put it back where it belongs. She smartened up quickly and at Liverpool Street, up and on her way out, she gave me a big smile, said bye, and asked the son, “will you say bye to OUR friend?” That I thought was cheeky, my cute little friend said bye and I gave him a quick hi-five.
The middle aged white guy seating next to me with his girlfriend gave me a look and went “phew” then said “you did not look comfortable there at all”. I gave a wry smile and said, absolutely not, were you? He said even his girlfriend thought that was unnecessary especially as the boy was not a baby as such.
Now the questions that continue to plague my mind include, why would a woman choose to expose herself like that in public, why breastfeed a 2 years old on the train, why make a show of it and seem unconcerned, what level of loneliness or insecurity will make a woman continue to breastfeed a child even when it’s obvious the child is at an age he/she does not need to be breastfed anymore?
I will be asking my female friends what they make of this and will be good to know the thoughts of women about this. In the interim, I may have to write to Central Line Train operators (TfL) to ask if that kind of attitude that embarrasses their customers should be allowed on their trains. It will surely be interesting to hear what Transport for London (TfL) spin-doctors (Customer Services) will say.
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